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By the time I graduated from college, I’d hung myself hundreds of times, each time hanging until I was on the verge of losing consciousness, then letting go of the rope. Over the years, I gradually made improvements to my breath play erotica, replacing the handcuffs, which always left bruises on my wrists, with a set of custom ordered steel manacles that fit my wrists perfectly. I also tested variations of the hangman’s knot, gradually increasing the time I could hang to almost thirty minutes before I needed to release the rope. I also made minor adjustments in the length of the rope, so that in the final stages of the noose tightening around my neck, the toes of my high heels would be just an inch away from the floor.Then, one night it happened. My lungs felt like they were on fire, and I was blissfully on the verge of blacking out, so I let go of the rope, and nothing happened. I was still hanging. I knew I was close to losing conscious as I desperately tried to grab the rope to. ”“Bullshit!”My engine hummed as I passed sixty. Anger seethed inside of me. I was ready to turn around and just lop the bitches tongue out and leave her choking. Fuck me. What a horrific experience – and Morrison was gonna go right back to her when I dropped him off. He was gonna take her shit because – because why? He was tall, his hair peppered, but he wasn’t ugly. Sure, he didn’t have a ton of courage, but he was kind and caring. He had enough empathy to fill the Olympic swimming pool in the back of South Knoll gym. Fuck. “You can’t go back to her – you aren’t are you.”“She’s all I have.”“No, she’s not. You have way more.”“Akeelah.”“Look at me! You have me, you have your students, you have people who care.”He sighed, “Okay.”Where are we going? I needed to get us somewhere. I turned back onto college – home it was. My father was away on business for the next few days anyway so he could stay with me for a few anyway.“You can stay with me for a couple of days till my dad gets back.
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